A Furry Friend...for my achy breaky heart.

Funny story: When I was trying to decide if I should stay or go to Austria, in a moment of motherly panic my mom declared a promise to me. She said (and I quote) "IF YOU STAY IN AMERICA YOU CAN HAVE A PUPPY."

Nuff' said.

Meet "Oscar America". He is a chocolate lab and has been keeping Shea and myself indulged in cute land for the past two days. How is it that baby creatures don't make things better at all but somehow make things seem a little okay?

I love my puppy and he loves me.

What is courage anyway?

"All my life I have lived and behaved very much like the sandpiper - just running down the edges of different countries and continents, 'looking for something'."

[elizabeth bishop]

So it's out there now. I'm in Texas. I'll just go ahead and say the next part of my latest news: I'm not going to Austria in October. When I moved home, I emailed my Au Pair family and they said that I needed to let them know by the end of the month if I'd come for sure or not. So I was back and forth. Putting pros and cons together, making lists, praying, crying, jumping to conclusions...until finally it dawned on me. It doesn't mean that I'm not brave if I don't go for right now. I think I've come to a point where I've convinced myself that if I'm not doing something drastic (like moving to a foreign country) then I have no courage. But I realized that right now the brave thing is to stay home. Truthfully, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm working at a paint your own pottery studio, laying in the sun, and filling my time with anything that comes my way. What is that? Aren't I supposed to have an idea of what I'm going to do by now? It made so much sense to live abroad because that's what I love. New experiences, cultures, languages, and people. Even though Austria is still a huge part of me (yes, I'm keeping up with my German studying!) and I plan on going at some point -- right now I need to be here. I need to sit and "rest". I definitely feel a need to be here to be with my friends as we trudge on through this difficult time, I think this has all been a wake up call to the fact that I need this time for myself. I've made myself an unreal amount of busy ever since I left for college five years ago and haven't exactly slowed down to really be still.

So this is my time of stillness.

Here are my plans:

1. Eat good summertime peaches.

2. Be there for my best friend as she gets married.

3. Love on my family and friends.

4. Sleep.

5. Lay in the sunshine.

6. Dig into the word and wait for Jesus to come for me.

Any further questions?

Tastes like fall...

November is truly filled with indescribable beauty.

I love it when the weather changes into a crisp breeze.

I love the colors of trees.

The crunches of leaves seemingly saying "goodbye for now" beneath my feet.

Korea is a beautiful place to live during the autumn. I may live in the second biggest city, but the mountains are within walking distance from my apartment and the hikes are incredible. The picture below is from a hike last weekend up Geumgang mountain. It's one of the tallest in Busan and the views are beautiful.

One of my favorite parts about the fall is the food. I've sort of got this personal challenge with old Betsy (my toaster oven) to see what yummy-ness I can produce through such a tiny machine. My most recent creation was some apple cake. I got the recipe from another blogger (http://thecookieshopinenglish.wordpress.com/2009/08/06/best-apple-cake-of-the-whole-wide-world/) and I highly recommend it. It was loaded with cinnamon and fresh apples from the market. I've also made some pretty delicious biscuits and peanut butter cookies over the past couple of weeks. I'm totally spoiling my coworkers and precious children with all of the treats.

We also had a mini-Halloween celebration. At Krystal's apartment on Halloween weekend we had plenty of candy, spooky music, pumpkin [and gourde] carving (see below), boba tea delight, and a terrible "scary" movie entitled Wolfman. And no, I do not recommend it. We saw it in a DVD bang. Which is basically a private movie watching room meant for 2-4 people (we fit 6). Unfortunately these little places do not have the most innocent reputations. Let's just say, the lighting is low, the couches are leopard skin, and they smell kind of funny. But hey -- cheaper than the movie theater and it's VIP treatment with the private room and all.

Pumpkin seeds a-toastin' in the toaster oven.

Tangerines are in season and in abundance here in Korea. We have been eating them like hot cakes! We can't resist the tasty little things. Perfect for game night, movie watching, and community breakfast.

I love this tree so much. Here is a perfect example of fall beauty. This was before our hike.

"But only the redeemed will walk there, and the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away."

Isaiah 35:9b-10

I have been going to BSF here in Busan -- we are studying Isaiah. It is really such a beautiful picture of God's might, power, mercy, and grace. I have been so overwhelmed with His ability to love us beyond our constant mess-ups and wishy washy ways. I hope that you know his love for you is abundant. Seek Him, know Him, and rest in Him. He is all we need. If there is one thing I am really learning here is that we do not need much of anything. Stepping away from American consumerism has really opened my eyes to what is important. To love, to trust, and to be content with our situation, what we own, and who we are. I hope that you know the sweet peace of Jesus. I hope that my life is a picture of Him and not myself. And I hope that if you ever have questions about Jesus, that you will seek His word and feel free to ask any questions. I can't promise I will have it any more figured out than you. I am certain of one thing -- we are not supposed to understand it all. If everything made sense, there wouldn't be much of a point. I have found that in the presence of His grace, the multitudes of questions we have....well, they seem to fade.

Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes I wish I weren't here - or there - or anywhere. It's confusing, being alive. If you know what I mean. But I am glad that I am. I am glad that I am here. I am glad that I do not understand and can only rely on the truth that I know. I love that there is so much to see and that it is impossible to do it all. I feel so blessed to be a part of the adventure. My current advice (for whatever it's worth), is to not allow yourself to grow comfortable or to be burdened with worries for the future. You have today. You have today to live intentionally and to search out what really matters.